AUSSIE FRIENDS OF TREEHORN
.. “Treehorn sighed. ‘I don’t think I’ll tell anyone.’ He thought to himself. “If I don’t say anything, they won’t notice.’”
A Politician’s Promise
“We will increase our spending on Education.”
[not on the basic compulsory schooling years, but somewhere]
Thus stated in Naplanese, presently guiding our system of testucation, this means…….
1. We will do more of the same. We will give more standardised blanket tests to more pupils….from Year 1 to University graduation [neophyte teachers only]
2. We will privatise as much of the school system as we can. That means schools, school management, test preparation, teaching material, in accordance with the best neo-liberal practices.
3. As part of the drive towards the privatisation of schooling, we will establish more charter schools…..a few more each year. We will describe them using confusing terminology [e.g Independent Public School, St. Custard’s Proper School etc]
4. We will extend NAPLAN to other subjects and other grades. Year 1 pupils will need to start the process. Once we label each child in Year 1, we can make ‘reliable’ judgements about teacher quality, school programs, school administration and public education forever.
5. We will keep our political decisions secret until they are announced. Sharing the decision making with real teachers is a waste of time.
6. Parents will continue to be mushroomed. Parents can be a real nuisance, when they consider the welfare and mental health of their children against what we want to do with them.
7. Airy-fairy subjects such as Music, Art, Environmental Studies, Social Studies and the like will be kept on the back-burner. They don’t get people proper jobs.
8. We will protect the Australian public from systems based on holistic learning. Systems such as Finland’s are weird. Start schooling at 7 years of age, no homework, shorter school hours, no blanket testing indeed! Such learning schemes are anathema to our robust form of kleinism. Only frightened children can achieve at tests! The use of play and experiencing joy as learning devices is too radical to be compatible with our testing programs.
9. We will continue to follow the American methods of schooling as closely as possible. Kleinism is a reliable method of operating. We need workers who can add-up and talk proper. Schooling is not meant to be enjoyed. Sloth and disinterest in learning will be punishable. School products such as thinkers, doers and learners would create turmoil in our society. Workers!
10. Managerialism will be maintained. School administration based on experience and expertise can interfere with the progress of our kleinist principles. Coercive leadership is required. We will continue to appoint leaders who have a voluminous CV , noticeable entrepreneurial skills; and can maintain the unpalatable and varying versions of reality.
The electorate can feel assured that we will continue to control what happens in our classrooms. We shall continue to encourage the spirit of NAPLAN. The curriculum will not get out of hand. Curriculum control by the use of testing devices will, in fact, be enlarged. Hard-core Maths, Grammar, Reading,Writing will remain supreme. We will privatize the better public schools first. We can assure big business educational enterprises, of our unending loyalty.
Phil Cullen 41 Cominan Avenue Banora Point Australia 2486
07 5524 6443 firstname.lastname@example.org