Treehorn: What’s wrong with a pupil-centred, achievement-focussed, test-free, holistic schooling system ? Why can’t we kids have it?
Aussie Kleinist Testucator: What’s wrong with a fear-based, tension-building, teacher-squirming, scoring-based system ? We’ve got it. We like it. You lump it.
Aussie Friends of Treehorn
Strayan Hood Awards
The highest award of the Strayan Day handouts went to TREEHORN for gross educo-political naivety. His Tonyness, devoted squire for Australia’s Emperor [who art in New York and next in line for a hood], Australia’s loftiest of Autocrats, sometimes called ‘Captain’, granted the Golden Hood to Treehorn using his oft quoted observation that “We can’t stop people being homeless – I mean ‘stupid’ – if that is their choice.” That’s Treehorn.
His Tonyness said : To be known as Sir Green and Shrinking, Treehorn and his companions deserve this award. They have to realise that holistic, achievement-focussed, pupil-oriented learning is ‘dead, buried and cremated.’ This is the era of old-fashioned British Grammar School kinds of instruction with exceptionally heavy emphasis on success at knowing only what can be rigorously tested on paper or machine, arranged by psycho-metrics. No wink-wink about it. Dills.
In added comment, his loyal kleinists, busily preparing the gas chambers for this year’s intake, reminded Treehorn and other anti-naplanners and distressed test-queer school kids, that they have as much chance of attracting sympathy from the Pavlov-conditioned bystanders, as the Jews had of having Auschwitz disapproved by sympathetic bystanders. Who cares?
Sir Green : Get nicked, Lord Tony and Sir Stufferupper
His Tonyness: Christmirror Plasticpine, for the introduction of endless ‘whatevers’ to Australian schooling.
You shall be known forthwith as Sir Stufferupper, keeper of reliteratized versions of a schooling Napalm and the dogged maintenance of hysterical versions of the curriculum.
Sir Stuff: I do my best, Your Blessed Tonyness.
His Tonyness: Rampant Muchaquid, for making tons of money from the plight of Treehorns, those funny little creatures that keep getting under our boots…and need your kind of stamping upon.
I shall dub you, Sir Amplify Big Apple, in accordance with your wishes. You represent the best of RLoyal American Australians.
Sir Rampant: Thanks Tony. You are a good obedient lad. Half the lies they tell about your supervision of my empire , aren’t true. You’ve done good. Not sure about you-know-who.
His Tonyness : Mr. Squeeky Kleen , other foreigners [although; NY is home really – like – our capital] like Sir Fill and Sir Rampant – we don’t care much where our hoods come from – your Wallest blue blood makes you an admirable standard bearer for those without standards.
You shall be Sir Testalot of Brooklyn [as announced on Straya Day] in recognition of your control from far, far away, of your sweet-talk control of the big end of Australia and of your ability to buck up its system.
Sir Testalot: Any time, Jewel—oops— Tony.
His Tonyness: Ms. Con. Hardard, for ability to corral and sweet talk any person or group of persons at any time for any purpose, nefarious or otherwise. It’s a unique skill possessed only by unique Australians, despite the level of suckerness of their victims.
You will be called Dame Super- Drover, defender of Murdochism, Kleinism, the American Way, and scourge of minor herds like teachers and principals.
Dame Super : I will not be lectured-….oops….thank you, dear Tony
Any connection to First Dog On The Moon is intended…..with thanks.
Phil Cullen 41 Cominan Avenue Banora Point Australia 2486 07 5524 6443 firstname.lastname@example.org