A School Teacher?

 The Treehorn Express

Opinion soaked in knowledge & experience.

Treehorn is the hero of an easy-to-read, sad children’s book, “The Shrinking of Treehorn” by Florence Heidi Parry. She cleverly exposes adults’ couldn’t-care-less attitude towards the needs of children at school, even when the circumstances of mal-treatment of children is obvious. Treehorn found that parents, teachers and principals only pretend to care, when ‘push’ becomes ‘shove’. He’s a sad lad.

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“After our sick fascination with testing and ranking has run its course; after we finally decide to listen to real experts rather than politicians…. After the best teachers have been driven out of the profession; after maths and reading drills have replaced productive childhood play, art, music and other forms of personality development, creativity and ingenuity; after all the non-standardized kids are out on the street with nothing to show for the work they’ve done; after a bedrock of real democracy has been destroyed rather than thoughtfully enhanced, attention may be paid. BUT THE DAMAGE, IRREVERSIBLE, WILL HAVE BEEN DONE.

[Marion Brady: “How to save the taxpayers billions of dollars – really.” Washington Post 24-10-2012]

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A School Teacher?

You are probably a school teacher if….

  • You want to slap the next person who says, “It must be nice to have all those school holidays.”
  • You can tell that it’s a full moon without even looking outside.
  • When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behaviour.
  • You can ‘hold on’ until after playground duty.
  • You can go to the loo, take a phone call, have a conference with a colleague, tend to a playground injury and have a cup of coffee in 20 minutes.
  • You check for spelling and punctuation errors in every piece of writing that you see.
  • You walk around a shopping centre wearing face paint, sticker and a daisy chain and don’t even notice the stares.
  • You look 50 before you’re 30.
  • You can’t pick a name for your unborn child as every name reminds you of a pupil.
  • When you can’t get your group of friends to listen to you, you put you hands on your head or clap a pattern.
  • You rate the educational value of newspaper cartoons.
  • You count your life in periods or terms, often weeks [depending on the length of the term].
  • You can sing all of the words of Advance Australia Fair, including the 2nd verse.
  • You can’t go anywhere without thinking, ‘What a great place for an excursion!’
  • You cringe at the way that bank tellers hold their pens.
  • You don’t know the date, but you know it’s Day 5, Week 4, Term 4.
  • You believe that the staffroom should have a Valium salt lick.
  • You believe that ‘shallow gene pool’ should have a special box on report cards.
  • You think that unspeakable evil should befall someone who says,”Aren’t these kids mellow today?”
  • When you meet a child’s parent, you instantly know ‘why this child is like it is’.
  •  You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
  •  You get a warm inner glow when a little one says, “Thank you for teaching me right.”
  • Your personal life and ‘week-ends’ come to a screeching halt at report card time.
  • Putting all ‘As’ on a report card would make life SO much easier.
  • When you mention ‘vegetables’ you are not talking about a food group.
  • You think that some people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
  • You move your dinner partner’s glass away from the edge of the table.
  • You ask if anyone needs to go the the toilet as you enter the theatre with a group of friends
  • You hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes.
  • You sing the Alphabet Song to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book.
  •  You say everything twice. That is, you repeat everything.
  • You fold your spouse’s fingers over the coins as you hand over the money for the tollbooth.
  • You ask the quiet person at a party if he has something to share with the group.
  •  You hold your nose and ‘pull the chain’ when some asks you about NAPLAN tests.

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“The main reason for testing children is to frighten them – to frighten them into doing what the teacher wants.”

[ John Holt : “The Underachievng School.”]

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Phil Cullen AM FACE FACEL FQIEL
Gold Medal : ACEL
Life Member : CCEAM, QSPPA, QSPSSA
Classroom Teacher : 17 years
Primary Principal : 22 years
State Administrator: 17 years
Author
Grandfather
41 Cominan Avenue
Banora Point 2486
07 5524 6443
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